Jumpers
by Jade Celandine
Summary: Three friends on a roadtrip... through time and space... I wonder what AUs may result? Rated T-M for swearing, confusion, and one rainbow-fizzled drink of doom.
1. Prologue

**A.N: I figured out fairly quickly that my brain likes going over two or more possibilities for a story too often for me to consider focusing on just one. So, I'll be posting the original version as a series of vignettes, drabbles, oneshots, however I feel the next chapter is supposed to go. There will be no timeline, I will shamelessly screw over your sense of chronological order, and basically have fun with myself. The alternate one, which I will post later, is going to be a series of oneshots and vignettes exclusively. Please read and review them both!**

 **Jade Celandine, out!**

 _ **Prologue**_

"So we just helped you come up with tech for universe-jumping, a project that took over three years and four of my summers, because you wanted to be a total fanboy?" she asked incredulously, foisting the crumpled blueprints at the blonde beside her. "Why didn't you just say so!?"

"Uh... 'cause I was too busy to remember?" Evan offered tentatively.

CLONG! Que a convenient wrench finding its way to contact on the poor sot's head. "Dammit, woman!"

"Oh, shut up, it's not like you'll suffer permanent brain damage. Can't risk that little genius in there this early in the game." Liz grinned fiercely at the dawning horror in Alyosha's face annd the enthusiastic hope in Evan's.

"Can we not?" the Russian whined. He just came for Call of Duty, seriously! (And maybe sneak the whiskey, but nobody else had to know right?)

"NO, WE'RE GOING!"

"Whyyyyyyy?!"


	2. Harry Potter: In the Hallow of a Tree

**A.N: I'm not going to promise quicker or more thorough updates; I'm the type of writer who writes when the creative juices flow and no more or less. Updates come and go of their own volition. Those of you who read my stories, please be patient.**

 **Jade Celandine, out!**

 _ **Harry Potter: In the Hallow of a Tree**_

 _Self-preservation. Self-preservation. Self-preservation. Self-preservation,_ Evan chanted in his head as he kept his eyes averted from the sight beside him. Alyosha was obviously bereft of this essential concern for personal survival, because the Russian boy was unrepentantly giggling like a schoolgirl as the trio walked down the little streets of Godric's Hollow, England. The dark aura steadily threatening the sanctity of the Brit's self-preservation instincts might have had a proportional relationship with said amusement on his other side.

"The first world we jump to, and it has to be during the Victorian era? It's not even the Victorian England I want, no, it has to be the complete opposite..." said the aura mumbling from its centre mass. "With a teenaged, stupid pair of boys who think that being Master of Death will make them rulers of the universe – not that anyone will ever know, because WWII gets to become rather convenient for doing away with records..."

"L-Let's not get caught talking about things that vould get us in trouble yet, yes? I don't vant to be the one explaining anything eef ve get into trouble," Alyosha calmed himself with difficulty, not at all aided by the girl he was keeping a meat shield for.

"That accent you're affecting is not endearing, Yasha, it's annoying," Lizetta continued, "and what's more, you're tracking mud onto my dress!" The last part was said in a hiss a Parselmouth would envy, and the blonde was quick to jump away from the even more caustic eyes aimed in his direction. "Let's see you do the laundry later tonight," she snapped and kept on trudging, growling to herself as she went, "or you can cook your own dinner."

Thus effectively hamstrung by his mirth, the now recalcitrant blonde boy proceeded to make things progressively worse for himself by verbally prostrating himself. Evan could only reacquaint his face with his exasperated palm before interposing himself between the squabbling duo, praying for salvation.


	3. Naruto: Frog March

**A.N: You know, RL hates me: university kicked my ass this year, my best friend and I had back-to-back crises that took over my first three months of vacation, and then I wake up one morning and it's almost August without me publishing a thing. For those of you who've liked and favorited my stories, expect a rash of updates before September. They will likely be the last you'll hear from me for another year or so.**

 **Jade Celandine, out!**

* * *

 _ **Naruto: Frog March**_

Alright, this was getting ridiculous. Almost reluctantly, Liz prodded the near-catatonic Evan who had apparently decided that a massive, oracle-like toad was quite enough of a shock in a day where they just missed Rexy and Godzilla, and fainted dead away by the time the first syllable rolled out of Gamabunta's mouth.

Alyosha was doing his job quite well derailing the boss summons' tirade, mostly by indulging his drinking habit and making great sport of heaving their smallest sake bowl in both hands and guzzling it down. To his credit, all that moonshine from his uncle did wonders for his tolerance.

Unfortunately, that left Liz as the only sensible one left.

That was NOT a good thing.


End file.
